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I am...a New Yorker
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[Previous entry: "Independent!"]

Tuesday, July 16, 2002
Searching for Signs of Intelligent Life
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Enjoying...
The premise of Tadpole, which I hope to see at the free preview.

Quoting...
"Rejection kills...disappointment only maims."

-The Truth About Cats & Dogs

Sweating...
Not at all -- hard to believe I said I hated air conditioning when I was 7.

Praying...
And trying to keep the faith.

Hearing...
"Genius of Love," which will now be stuck in my head for the next three millenia. But it does remind me of the summer between elementary and junior high.

Oh crap, that was followed by The Proclaimers...so I will be walking 500 miles to get that out of my head.

Yo, I didn't ever think of Spandau Ballet as One Hit Wonders. Ah, that Gary Kemp. *sigh*

Painting...
With watercolors, instead of the pottery. It's less expensive, so I feel a bit freer to experiment or fail to do what I set out to do.

I painted a weird tree at sunset and a stained glass type thing, which I used to do with crayons as a kid. On one side, I painted black outlines, keeping one side open. I guess that's how I feel -- partly trapped, partly free and light.

Reading...
Book of Shadows still.

Eating...
McDonald's three nights in a row. So much for that diet. I figured I'd level off for a while, but that's not quite the way to do it.

Watching...
/Men In Black II , because I was feeling mindless.

/Scooby Doo and loving the scenes with Scrappy Doo (or "Crappy Doo," as I think of him). I had my doubts about anyone being a believable Shaggy, but Matthew Lillard was surprisingly good. What was up with his package, though?

I am...doing the personals thing. Again. I don't know why, the outcome is about the same as when I had an ad in the Bay Guardian 5 years ago.

I suppose one reason is that, every 5 years or so, I meet someone brilliant, who makes me laugh, makes me think, who I want to share myself with entirely. It has yet to work out, but leaves me with the sleeping giant that is my sexuality reawakened.

Indeed, it's like my walking life -- most of the responses, or, rather, the respondees, make no sense to me. I don't know why it is I attract exactly the wrong kind of people. Perhaps because I like to argue so much?

Here's a typical conversation. It started with him telling me I'm pretty (because that's what chicks exist for, I suppose) and went downhill from there. He's in italics, bracketed comments were added after the conversation to clarify.
i will gladly treat any woman like a person as long as she is willing to admit that perhaps she may devour material things as me do women's bodies.

You will "gladly treat any woman as a person." How big of you! I don't understand your point. Not only are material things material and not human (as are women), but also men devour material things as well.

My point [in my ad, I said I was looking for men and women who don't hate women and who understand that women are actual people] was less about men using women for sex, because I think that's the least of the disregard men have for women's humanity. Treating us as if we are ONLY bodies made for THEIR pleasure and as if we don't have minds and our ideas/priorities/goals, etc. are unimportant is the main issue.

i see this is apparently sensitive to you, yes? my time is up

I'm able to express myself intelligently at length about the absurd way [should say "many"] men treat women and I'm sensitive. Thanks: you just made my point.

you have made your own point. i merely spoke what you wanted to hear. my 'maleness' has made you feel better about your own intelligence.

The poor, persecuted male song and dance -- how surprising! Your "maleness" (why the quotes? [Are you not male?]) doesn't automatically make you a narrow-minded moron. Why, some of my best friends are men...

It's all about you, isn't it? I don't need you to make me feel better about my intelligence, I was well aware of it long before your messages.

It was hardly what I wanted to hear, since [I clearly state in my ad that] I'm searching for like-minded souls. Why quite the opposite respond in greater numbers is beyond me.

Just to contradict myself, actually I have met a few people, men and women, who I like thus far. I haven't met any of them as yet, but so far no obvious racist or misogynist combinations. It may not seem like much, but, given my life in recent months, it's a relative embarrassment of riches.

[Next entry: "The Reconciliation"]
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