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I'm The One That I Want by Margaret Cho. I was so disappointed that I couldn't make the book fair at UCLA last weekend with my friend Tracey, so she thought to buy the book for me. I missed the one-woman show when I lived in New York, but Tracey and I went to see the film last fall in Santa Monica. If you want to know how much my friends rock, Tracey even had it autographed:
Erica
Good luck in New York!
-Margaret Cho
. . .
I'm also still reading Simple Indulgence: Easy, Everyday Things to Do for Me by Janet Eastman. I'm such a dork, I keep reading the quotes and ideas, but not doing the journalling portion.
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"Someday we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me
alllll of us under it's spell."
-Kermit THE Frog
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Stuck in my head:
"Boogie-oogie-oogie get down."
Thank you, Disco Stu! (My favorite Simpsons sight gag-cum-character.)
I heard Britney Spears' "Bottom of My Broken Heart" while making a selection from the feminine hygeine aisle at Wal Mart and exclaimed, "Fucking Britney Spears...Gah!"
That's one of the videos I had to watch about a million times to select snippets for the web site and the enhanced CD single. Ever hearing it again is too much, too soon.
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The Simpsons, The Sopranos & Armistead Maupin's Further Tales of the City. I didn't even realize there were making another one, I just happened to see it listed. I'm going to have to finish the book series now, as I think I've only read through the fourth book and this mini-series is based on the third book.
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While you're visiting the Gallery of Regrettable Food, don't miss Meat!. This one in particular made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. "Sometimes meat likes to dress up and feel pretty."
Swanson Parade of Lost Identity -- women who, in probably their only 15 minutes of fame, were for the most part known only as Mrs. HisLastName.
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Co-Author of The Rules to divorce! So you can't manipulate a man into marrying and staying married to you? Perhaps you have to come into it as two individuals and show who you really are from the beginning? I guess this means that no amount of growing your hair long, pretending not to be smart or funny, and "training" a man will make for a happy marriage.
. . .
Ever wonder where that dollar bill's been? Mine was in Chicago two months ago.
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Another Elvis dream (I'm doing the Memphis section of my color scrapbook now, but I haven't got to Graceland yet), this one cannibalistic.
What started out as an autopsy to discover THE TRUTH, turned into Elvis Stew. It was rich and beefy. Ewwwwwwwww!
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Why is it that the same personality quirks are taken as crazy and stalky by some, while loveably wacky by others? Is there some litmus test for this, so I stop wasting my time?
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now I'm blogging what I'm eating, whoa.
Still literate as of 9/29/2000 12:20:01 AM
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just what I needed...another dorkblog.
Jeepers, creepers, I last used my peepers on 9/29/2000 12:24:59 AM
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My trip photographs, they're better than expected. Now to get them all organized, it's only been a year!
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Friday, September 15, 2000
8:51 PM
 on my way out to spend the night at Dorothy's parents' house for the wedding tomorrow. My bro has a soccer game, so they may or may not attend. It's an all day thing, with a ceremony in the early afternoon in a church and then a ceremony designed by Dorothy and her fiance.
I've just baked about a dozen dozen cookies, which I seem to remember Dorothy asking me to do, but I could just be hallucinating.
I'll be back on Sunday, but I have homework to do, so I might not have time to update until Tuesday night. Please try to console yourselves during my absence.
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Thursday, September 14, 2000
9:55 PM
as stressed and excited about Dorothy's wedding as if I were the bride herself. I'm baking cookies for the big day, having some vague memory and/or hallucination of having promised to do so.
...
Had a lovely visit with Dorothy's insanely funny sister Donna yesterday and a shopping spree with her other sisters Bonnie and the now extremely pregnant Victoria. We tried walking her all over the massive Brea mall in order to induce labor, to no avail. She is due on Saturday, Dorothy's wedding day. There were many jokes about a joint wedding/birth. I said I'd arrange for the live webcast.
Donna likes to tell me I'm their "'dopted" sister, which amuses and cheers me to no end. They're a nice family, it's always good to spend the day among them and the ever-growing group of grandkids. I remember when there were none. I can't imagine where the time went that now there are so many; it seems like just last year Dorothy and I moved into our dorm/apartment. My long-running joke was that it was decorated in early 1970s.
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10:00 PM
suffering with the beginning of my brother's cold. I had fully planned to go to school today but between traffic coming back from L.A. and the growing cold, I opted to come home and hit the bed.
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Last night was Dorothy's bachelorette party. It was actually a nice dinner, after which half the group hung out at Dorothy's friend Stacey's gorgeous and spacious apartment (boy, what a difference between N.Y. and L.A.). That was my kind of evening, as I'm not a big partier. We just talked about all sorts of things and laughed. I needed that. I haven't spent enough time with people my age since I've been back in California.
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10:03 PM
overextended and not sure how I'm going to get through all the things I've committed to. I went from no commitments of any kind to not having any time to spare. Funny how life works out.
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Wednesday, September 13, 2000
12:34 AM
more tan than I was yesterday. I heard it was a 107 degrees today. It felt at least that hot in the shade. I could feel the tops of my feet burning just in the few minutes I walked from class to class. Of course, I missed the bus that leaves just as I'm leaving campus, so, even though I miraculously caught a Dial-A-Ride mini-bus, it took over two hours for me to get home.
When I arrived in my city, the cab to take me home wasn't there (call me lazy, but I can't walk 25 minutes in this heat with my books) and when they sent it again, the dispatcher told the driver the wrong location. I saw it as it was pulling out. I gave chase, but didn't catch up with it before the light turned green, despite waving frantically.
I've taken cabs at least a dozen times since I've been back here, not one has come in less than 30 minutes, why on earth did the one today come in 10? When I called for the third time they were pissed at me and got all huffy about the cab having come twice before. Well, I told them when I'd be at the stop, so why would they dispatch it early if they were indeed able to miraculously arrive in 10 minutes?
As for the second time, it's not my fault the dispatcher told the driver I'd be somewhere I never said I'd be. I don't at all appreciate them taking a damn tone with me because they screwed up. Do they think I like waiting in 107 degree weather for 40 minutes? It certainly didn't thrill me to wait in the sun until I had the shakes from heat and an overdue lunch. When the third cab came I nearly missed him, because something possessed him to drive behind the bus stop, instead of in front of it. Luckily, I turned my head before the dodo pulled off. Delirious from the heat, dehydration and exhaustion, I found myself muttering that I wasn't ,,,"anyone's mother, with eyes in the back of my freakin' head."
People tell me all the time that I'm a good writer. It boggles my mind then, when I get into situations of such massive miscommunication. Whatami speakin' French? Jeez.
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12:35 AM
sick of sites that crash my browser because they use faulty, extraneous code that launches a million windows and errors. Bite me.
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12:37 AM
really missing city life these days. It might have taken hours to get place to place on a bad day, but there wasn't this feeling of being stranded for hours at a time, or after 7 p.m. I don't know when I'm supposed to take driving lessons now, with the 4 hour daily commute.
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1:40 AM
a bad, bad girl. I should have gone to bed at least an hour ago and I still haven't packed. I'm going to Dorothy's bachelorette party and staying the night with a friend of hers, so it's going to be a really long day, but fun, fun, fun.
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Tuesday, September 12, 2000
12:57 AM
shamelessly in love with my new bra, which is no small feat. I've had lots of bra issues of late, between gaining some weight and a lot of 5 or 6 year old bras just giving up the ghost. Two lost their little eyelets and, since I'm not one to darn her bras in the night when there's nobody there, they are dead to me now. One stabbed me and thus had to have an emergency double underwirectomy. While the doctor is doing fine, the patient didn't hold up as well. There's also the sports bra I can't find and some bras inexplicably dependent on lace for support that unravelled.
Why is it that when underwear of any kind goes, it takes it's entire age cohort with it on the fiery ride to oblivion? It would make sense if I was wearing only 2 bras since April, when I returned to California, because so much of my shit is still in boxes. In fact, I have 7 or 8. Or had, but they're dropping like flies these days.
Yesterday (Sunday, actually, since it's the wee hours of Tuesday as I write this), I bought a dress for Dorothy's wedding, finally. It's not fancy, but I think it's pretty in its simplicity. No, really. While I was at the store (let's call it Lame Giant), I happened to see some sports bras and took the giant leap of actually buying two, one in black and one in white (you didn't think all the black/white design was an accident, did you ?), one size apart, since I wasn't sure what my exact size is now and they didn't have both in the same size.
I am wearing the smaller of the two now and, while a bit snug, it's the most comfortable bra I've worn since my cross-country trip (when I did indeed have just a pair of bras for an entire month). It's soft, but has good support; there are no psycho ninja wires of death (you can't tell me no woman's ever been stabbed in the heart by these damn things), yet there's no droop, either; it's lightweight, but the material seems thick enough to keep my highbeams off. It also doesn't look like a bra; it has a smooth cotton finish, with a satiny-looking trim, that resembles a bathing suit or tank top. I hope it blends in a bit better with my clothes, since I have several dresses with spaghetti or tank top straps and I don't want it to look too tacky.
Of course, I completely forgot that I wanted to save wearing this one until Dorothy's bachelorette party on Wednesday, as I found a crocheted tank top that it will blend with and not look so bra-like. Instead, I got it all sweaty. Oops, I did it again...I was a big dummyhead. It's these stupid, annoying little details that are our undoing, I'm convinced.
Once or twice a year, one aspect of my wardrobe goes through this sort of binge/purge phase. Three months ago it was my underwear. I had no panties to speak of and I could not imagine how and where I'd lost them all. I think the next one will be pants, but I'm working on that. Should I get some leather pants? After all, it is fall, not that you'd know it here, where it's about a million bone-dry degrees every day.
I'm absurdly excited about wearing the new white one tomorrow. Really, please send for help.
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12:59 AM
leaving out the best part, in which, after making my purchases, I walked by a rack of "T-shirt bras" and pinched a cup (I had to have one last feel, it was so soft, like fleece). Only then did I hear the cashier's footsteps behind me. I'm the Ms. Whipple of the intimates department.
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11:45 AM
freezing in the computer lab as I type this. I bring my jacket specifically for this and have to lug it around the rest of the day. It's the desert, I don't need a jacket for 10 months of the year. It's making me yawn.
...
Indeed, I feel asleep in class. I kept waking up every few minutes. I was so wiped. I guess I'm the opposite of most people -- cold air makes me sleepy, not awake. I start curling into a ball and the next thing you know, I start to snore.
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Monday, September 11, 2000
9:23 PM
going to miss these times when my brother is still young and willing enough to hold our hands. Tonight, while leaving soccer practice, he seemed to do so voluntarily, even stroking my thumb, like the sweet boy he can be.
He's only 10, but already almost 5 feet tall. In a few years, his voice will change, he'll be over 6 feet tall. I don't know what I'll do then. Get some platform shoes, I suppose.
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9:30 PM
so sorry the cat feels so bad. Those were too many procedures for one little guy to go through in a single visit, let alone his first ever to the vet. I'm sure he's going to be terrified of any sort of box or carrier from this day forward, not knowing what exotic tortures lay ahead.
He tries to shake off the tape on his front paws but it doesn't budge. I thought he was having some sort of fit the first time I saw him do it. It sounds like wings fluttering.
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9:36 PM
able to survive for weeks on one compliment. Thanks to Kristin, Mark and Dora for giving me my fix for September.
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11:50 PM
watching The Stepford Wives and it's freaking my shit out! It seems to me that an alarming number of men I've met do want an automaton with a certain type of body and brains that only serve their manly needs. I'm no good to them because I have big, fat, juicy brains that I rather enjoy using; opinions that I don't keep to myself (how inconvenient for them) and the knowledge that men are a luxury I can survive without (that means I see no point in taking any shit). Whatever happened to partnership?
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Sunday, September 10, 2000
3:12 PM
a big lazy bitch. I just woke up at 11:30. Or at least I thought it was 11:20, until I realized the second "1" was actually the colon in the time, so it was really 1:30. This week just finally all hit me this morning. Granted, I was up late last night, but 2 am is nothing and shouldn't have me sleeping all day.
The getting up early and the heat have really taken their toll. I hope I'm pretty much on a morning schedule, except for today, of course. I haven't had the energy to stay up as late as normal, so I guess my body's adjusting.
I'm really excited about my classes, but why do most of them start so early? It would be a different story if they were all on one campus, the one near me and if I lived close to either campus. But nooooooo. I'm no huge fan of getting up at 6 or 6:30 everyday, it's just not me. I keep falling asleep on The Boy in the afternoons. One minute we're watching the Simpsons, the next he's nudging me so I can make dinner.
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3:16 PM
not at all happy to hear people, especially parents, say a skill or interest their child possesses means they should be the other sex. That's all bullshit and social construction. Some boys like to cook and hate bugs, some girls are rough and tumble and hate dolls. I only wish for the day when all children can choose from the vast array of interests there are available (for example, cooking, bugs and writing), without being described as anomalies.
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3:22 PM
not impressed with pretty for pretty's sake. My mother and I got into an argument a few weeks ago in which she said I criticized pretty people for being pretty and that was just as bad as pretty people criticizing me for being ugly. Oh, those poor victims of one person's reverse discrimination, how my heart bleeds!
Hey, I don't hate pretty people. Some of my best friends are pretty...but I don't think pretty is enough. It is an accident of birth or a facade constructed by modern technology. Want to impress me? Work out your brains as much as or, preferably, more than your body. If you don't just get by on your appearance, then no one will be able to say that's what you owe your success to. If all you have to offer is a pretty face, then don't have entire marketing blitzes asserting your non-existing talents, let alone expect me to fall for the mind control.
When I see pretty people who succeed on the basis of their substance, in lieu of their style, it makes them all the more beautiful.
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