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I'm The One That I Want by Margaret Cho. I was so disappointed that I couldn't make the book fair at UCLA last weekend with my friend Tracey, so she thought to buy the book for me. I missed the one-woman show when I lived in New York, but Tracey and I went to see the film last fall in Santa Monica. If you want to know how much my friends rock, Tracey even had it autographed:
Erica
Good luck in New York!
-Margaret Cho
. . .
I'm also still reading Simple Indulgence: Easy, Everyday Things to Do for Me by Janet Eastman. I'm such a dork, I keep reading the quotes and ideas, but not doing the journalling portion.
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"Someday we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me
alllll of us under it's spell."
-Kermit THE Frog
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Stuck in my head:
"Boogie-oogie-oogie get down."
Thank you, Disco Stu! (My favorite Simpsons sight gag-cum-character.)
I heard Britney Spears' "Bottom of My Broken Heart" while making a selection from the feminine hygeine aisle at Wal Mart and exclaimed, "Fucking Britney Spears...Gah!"
That's one of the videos I had to watch about a million times to select snippets for the web site and the enhanced CD single. Ever hearing it again is too much, too soon.
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The Simpsons, The Sopranos & Armistead Maupin's Further Tales of the City. I didn't even realize there were making another one, I just happened to see it listed. I'm going to have to finish the book series now, as I think I've only read through the fourth book and this mini-series is based on the third book.
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While you're visiting the Gallery of Regrettable Food, don't miss Meat!. This one in particular made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. "Sometimes meat likes to dress up and feel pretty."
Swanson Parade of Lost Identity -- women who, in probably their only 15 minutes of fame, were for the most part known only as Mrs. HisLastName.
. . .
Co-Author of The Rules to divorce! So you can't manipulate a man into marrying and staying married to you? Perhaps you have to come into it as two individuals and show who you really are from the beginning? I guess this means that no amount of growing your hair long, pretending not to be smart or funny, and "training" a man will make for a happy marriage.
. . .
Ever wonder where that dollar bill's been? Mine was in Chicago two months ago.
. . .
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Another Elvis dream (I'm doing the Memphis section of my color scrapbook now, but I haven't got to Graceland yet), this one cannibalistic.
What started out as an autopsy to discover THE TRUTH, turned into Elvis Stew. It was rich and beefy. Ewwwwwwwww!
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Why is it that the same personality quirks are taken as crazy and stalky by some, while loveably wacky by others? Is there some litmus test for this, so I stop wasting my time?
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now I'm blogging what I'm eating, whoa.
Still literate as of 9/29/2000 12:20:01 AM
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just what I needed...another dorkblog.
Jeepers, creepers, I last used my peepers on 9/29/2000 12:24:59 AM
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My trip photographs, they're better than expected. Now to get them all organized, it's only been a year!
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Saturday, October 28, 2000
9:55 AM
 going in to meet my friend Jennifer and possibly some of Pamie's other readers. I'd know for sure if I'd been able to check my email from home the past three days.
I've reformatted my hard drive and installed Windows 98. I hope that does it. If not, perhaps a blow torch? I laughed at people who had computer rage, but now it's creeping up on me. Still, I'm not a moron who doesn't know how to use a computer, so it's all the more irritating.
I don't think it's so much to ask to have more than one peripheral working at a time. It's why I had Bob build this faster, bigger, better computer. The irony is that everything worked in the old computer, it was just slow and tended to get overwhelmed and crash.
So, computers make us more efficient, how?
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9:56 AM
never sure of what happens next, if anything and not sure the end really matters. This is the part that I don't understand. It's the waiting that's the worst.
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Wednesday, October 25, 2000
10:07 PM
the kind of person who has to have the last word; additionally, I almost always think I'm right (I nearly typed "write"). I've expended a lot of energy this week to the Diary-l list, which is really odd for me. I usually skim the messages, posting occaisionally, but this exploded into a full out flame war.
That wasn't my intention, I just questioned the lumping of all journals in English-speaking countries as "Anglo" and said something to the effect that, "hey, if you're looking for diverse voices among online journallers, it's right here in the U.S. (as well as the other countries named.
One reason Eric and I were doomed to failure is he avoided conflict at all costs. While I'm used to a certain level of conflict, I don't try to create unnecessary drama. However, I don't run from important issues that need to be resolved, either. I think conflict is an opportunity to connect, not necessarily a recipe for strife.
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10:34 PM
so thankful for the teachers and school employees who like their jobs and who go the extra mile. I'm back at the community college where I went for the three years immediately after high school. In some ways it's changed and in some ways it's just the same.
For example, the library's first floor is covered with computers now (there were 2 or 3 terminals for searching the collection and one Lexus-Nexus when I left), but the same handwritten, cardboard signs are taped up everywhere.
I've been really busy with classes and going to my labs and such, so I haven't had a chance to visit with any of my old professors, coworkers or friends until today. I only have one class on Monday and Wednesday and the commute is shorter, so I thought I'd try to see some people I once knew. I only wish I'd done so sooner.
My English professor is now the department chair, but she remembered me. In fact, she said she thought of me just recently. I was in her class over 10 years ago, though I continued to visit with her on campus until I graduated in '93. Wow, that makes me feel old.
She was really interested in what I'd seen and done in New York and so enthusiastic about the path I'm on now that it was infectious and gave me such a lift. I guess I'd been doubting myself and where I'm at because there are so many temporary solutions at work in my life at the moment. But, seeing it through her eyes reminded me of how capable I am. Sometimes I forget and get very discouraged, even quit.
I also bumped into my Sociology professor who was always a kick in the pants. He is, as one department secretary put it, "an ornery old cuss," but you know that deep down he does indeed have a heart. That's one of my favorite kinds of person because they tend to see the good in unexpected people and the bad in those who aren't as upright as they'd let on.
Lastly, I visited for quite a long time with one of my coworkers at my on-campus job. The other had retired in July, so, unfortunately, I just missed her. I'll give her a call, I suppose. The one who remained was so happy to see me and said she, too, had just wondered how I was doing last week. Little did she know that I was in New York when she visited last year or that I've passed by her workplace two days a week since early September.
She kept saying when she introduced me to people who stopped by, that I was very talented, very creative and a great writer. This is someone I didn't know in a writing capacity, though I think I brought in some of my stories into work once, so I was surprised she remembered me that way, that vividly.
You forget sometimes the impact you have on others, as I have, and as these people might not know they had on me. I guess that will teach me to doubt that I'm remembered or the amazing
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10:35 PM
damn sure not going to pay $800 a month to live in BFD. Something'll have to work out, one way or another. It's never the end that's so awful, it's the time until then.
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11:19 PM
so anxious to know what's going to happen, I forget to enjoy and trust the process.
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Monday, October 23, 2000
5:05 PM
a bit discouraged about getting an apartment. I was basing my ability to afford one on apparently outdated online ads, of course. Apartments listed in the $450-500 range were, in actual fact, $625-650. I can afford that, but it's a bit high price to pay to live here in bumfuck, I think.
The four apartments were quite nice, though, as New York has spoiled me in the opposite extreme. The first two were about 800 square feet, which would be about a zillion dollars in NY or even SF now. Imagine, a separate bedroom!
I really liked one of them, even though it didn't have a balcony/patio, as on my wish list. It was spacious, had tons of cabinets in all of the rooms and a huge closet across one wall with plenty of shelves. I forgot what apartment lust was like, because in New York you just take what you can get if you can afford it.
I looked at another place that is in actual fact, in the $375 range, but it looked pretty shitty on the outside. The resident manager wasn't around, so I have no idea what the inside is like, though the owner swears it's great.
I guess beggers can't be choosers and unemployed with bad credit definately qualifies as such. Still, I can't help but think that with rental signs hung on every apartment building at all times that there are plenty of places that would just be glad to be filled to capacity. Let's hope.
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Sunday, October 22, 2000
2:33 AM
from Friday, 10/20/00 12:00 p.m. but fucking AOL has been a mess since then:
half a week ahead in my Photoshop class. I went over the grade today and so far I have an A, I didn't realize I did so well. Since I've been turning in my work on Zips (so she could see them in full color, as we don't have a color printer in class and WinME doesn't recognize my printer, it is the Tito Jackson of printers), she hadn't given me anything back with a grade in a while. As a result, I've received 3 or 4 grades, out of only 5 lessons and a project turned in so far, so it really filled out the picture.
Next week is the final, so I've done the homework that's due, but still have to do the final project. We have to do a magazine cover, utilizing several different filters and techniques. I finally got an idea for it today.
The way my brain works, I couldn't really focus on the final project until I did the last regular homework assignment. I guess my brain half thinks it'll cover something earthshattering that I must use for the final project. Now that the Photoshop lane of my brain's highway is clear, I can cruise right on through the magazine cover. What a lame metaphor.
I only wish this class lasted longer, as I'm learning a lot about Photoshop. Of course I'm glad to be taking Photoshop next semester, since by then they'll jump from 5.0, straight to 6.
Here's the project due today:
and the one due next week:
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2:34 AM
never sure about the whole guy/dating thing. When is it a date? Or are we just friends? I once with out with my ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend to a series of movies and at first it was good to have someone to discuss the movie with afterward, since I'd gotten used to seeing movies alone all the time.
All was well and good until he started kissing me on the cheek. What's up with that? We didn't know each other well enough for him to do that as a friend and frankly, I just found it puzzling. He wasn't the only one. I can't even remember all the times I've left somewhere or the other person moved away and then told me they had feelings for me. A fat lot of good that does.
. . .
So tonight I went out with an old friend from high school and the question raised its ugly head. Since I wasn't sure, I erred on the side of caution -- worrying about what to wear and shaving my legs just for good measure. After all, this is someone I hadn't seen in 12 years, so I couldn't help but remember high school -- four years of rejection.
Actually, J and I were friendly in high school. He was always smart and a bit alternative for this red neck town. He had an Edie Sedgewick T-shirt in high school and since she was on Dramarama's album cover, that was pretty cool in my book. I can't remember any other specifics about him.
I didn't hang out with people in high school because I rode the bus and had to go straight home after school. We were on the newspaper together my junior (his senior) year, so I probably knew him better than I did a lot of people.
I also knew his sister from junior high. She was a year younger than me. I'll never forget the time during registration that she came up to me and said she heard me on the radio talking to Dramarama (of course!) and I didn't mention her name. It was so absurd.
. . .
It was a lot of fun. We talked about old times, but found we still had lots of other things to talk about -- music, movies, San Francisco, work and why the fuck he's a Republican. We had a lovely dinner and, with a couple of hours yet to kill before S&T, decided to see Pay It Forward. Go see this film. It's beautiful. Just hope that, for your sake, they don't turn the lights on immediately afterward, as when I saw Life is Beautiful and Schindler's List. That was just so wrong, just like all my worrying.
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2:35 AM
such a great date-type person. Not only did I suggest we see Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation, which has changed from all shit/fart to dick/cum (misspelling denotes the level of stupidity) jokes, but on the way back, as we passed the funeral home I said, "Oh, I think that's where they did my dad." Now there's a line that'll get you laid.
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2:46 AM
happy to say that now you can get my mug on a mug (props to Heather for the pun), or even a T-shirt, from the FOJM Cafe Press store. My picture is in the bottom right hand corner. Between that and Loobylu's mug, it's almost enough to make me start drinking kawfee.
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6:59 PM
in the midst of more computer hell. Bob was here for over four hours and was not able to get my second, dual parallel port to work so that the printer and scanner would work without daisy-chaining. They worked on my dad's old computer while daisy-chained, so we think it's a WinME issue yet again. So, if I'm incommunicado over the next few days, rest assured that I'm pulling out my hair and trying to get more than two devices to work at one time.
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