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I'm The One That I Want by Margaret Cho. I was so disappointed that I couldn't make the book fair at UCLA last weekend with my friend Tracey, so she thought to buy the book for me. I missed the one-woman show when I lived in New York, but Tracey and I went to see the film last fall in Santa Monica. If you want to know how much my friends rock, Tracey even had it autographed:
Erica
Good luck in New York!
-Margaret Cho
. . .
I'm also still reading Simple Indulgence: Easy, Everyday Things to Do for Me by Janet Eastman. I'm such a dork, I keep reading the quotes and ideas, but not doing the journalling portion.
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"Someday we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me
alllll of us under it's spell."
-Kermit THE Frog
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Stuck in my head:
"Boogie-oogie-oogie get down."
Thank you, Disco Stu! (My favorite Simpsons sight gag-cum-character.)
I heard Britney Spears' "Bottom of My Broken Heart" while making a selection from the feminine hygeine aisle at Wal Mart and exclaimed, "Fucking Britney Spears...Gah!"
That's one of the videos I had to watch about a million times to select snippets for the web site and the enhanced CD single. Ever hearing it again is too much, too soon.
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The Simpsons, The Sopranos & Armistead Maupin's Further Tales of the City. I didn't even realize there were making another one, I just happened to see it listed. I'm going to have to finish the book series now, as I think I've only read through the fourth book and this mini-series is based on the third book.
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While you're visiting the Gallery of Regrettable Food, don't miss Meat!. This one in particular made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. "Sometimes meat likes to dress up and feel pretty."
Swanson Parade of Lost Identity -- women who, in probably their only 15 minutes of fame, were for the most part known only as Mrs. HisLastName.
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Co-Author of The Rules to divorce! So you can't manipulate a man into marrying and staying married to you? Perhaps you have to come into it as two individuals and show who you really are from the beginning? I guess this means that no amount of growing your hair long, pretending not to be smart or funny, and "training" a man will make for a happy marriage.
. . .
Ever wonder where that dollar bill's been? Mine was in Chicago two months ago.
. . .
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Another Elvis dream (I'm doing the Memphis section of my color scrapbook now, but I haven't got to Graceland yet), this one cannibalistic.
What started out as an autopsy to discover THE TRUTH, turned into Elvis Stew. It was rich and beefy. Ewwwwwwwww!
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Why is it that the same personality quirks are taken as crazy and stalky by some, while loveably wacky by others? Is there some litmus test for this, so I stop wasting my time?
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now I'm blogging what I'm eating, whoa.
Still literate as of 9/29/2000 12:20:01 AM
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just what I needed...another dorkblog.
Jeepers, creepers, I last used my peepers on 9/29/2000 12:24:59 AM
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My trip photographs, they're better than expected. Now to get them all organized, it's only been a year!
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Tuesday, April 24, 2001
6:09 PM
 taking care of business. A bunch of the piddly details I've been working on for weeks finally worked out today -- my Citibank account is open again, I mailed the money order for my voicemail and I finally received some of the suits I ordered.
I've been trying to reopen my bank account since August. They've lost 6 signature cards or closed my account because I didn't make a deposit because their computers were always down so I couldn't confirm the account was opened or not. I didn't want to send more money by mail only to have the account closed before the deposit arrived and then have to call everyday for two months to get them to cut a check to return my deposit. Fucking paperwork. But I did it to myself. I went to NY for 10 days to job hunt and my flight was delayed by 5 days, so I missed a few days pay and wasn't able to get more money into my last California bank account, so shit started bouncing and I joined the low class ranks in the Chex System.
Now's the time to be a good little capitalist and fix all my past financial transgressions.
Actually, I only received two of the suits, and one was too tight. I hope the third one fits. I have plenty of skirts and jackets which should be fine for all but the most corporate jobs (which I might end up in because this year of financial pennance is all about the benjamins), but for interviews, I should really have suits. I also ordered some tights, dress shoes and a bathrobe because I'll be back to using a hall bath and a little modesty is in order.
I've also painted the baseboards we bought to magically transform my bedroom into my brothers. It doesn't make sense for me to have the big room when I'm going to be gone, so with all the furniture moved for the carpet installation, I decided to switch with him. My walls are gray (painted, obviously during my Miami Vice period), but all the trim is pink. Ironically, my brother wants everything painted red, which was the color I wanted (but with much darker, charcoal-colored walls). If only I'd done the red to begin with.
We decided to just buy new baseboards we could paint before installing, so as not to ruin the brand new carpet. However, there's still the pink doorframe, closet door (one of three, the paint didn't take well, so we didn't continue) and the back of the main door. I guess we can take the doors off to paint them, but we'll just have to pray really, really hard for uncharacteristic grace in order to paint the door frame. I figure I can tape a tarp to the wall under the window ledge, so there's no risk there.
This is also helping to cement that I'm leaving. My mom isn't hearing me try to tell her this, however. She just uses any mention of my leaving as an excuse to argue about how much I owe her and how I don't have any money, blah blah blah. It's weird how isolating abusive situations are, because you start believing there's no way out, no where to turn. It's funny, too how my friends are always supportive and enthusiastic about everything I do, while my parents have always criticized and catastrophized every dream. I guess that's why they never got out of the Empire.
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Monday, April 23, 2001
1:19 AM
not a terribly interesting person in the usual ways. People always ask what I do in NY, but it's nothing in particular. When I'm there, I just am.
I like to wander the streets and just feel the city's rhythm, it's hard to explain what that is exactly. I don't hobnob or do all the in stuff or go to clubs or any of that.
One thing I like about New York is that it's pretty much the center of everything in the world -- media, fashion, art, photography, writing, music -- so no matter what you're interested in, there's a place for you. I certainly never felt that way in the Empire.
New York is certainly not perfect, but it is miraculous that it runs so well with all those different people, there's so much that could go wrong, but mostly it works. It's funny that New Yorkers are stereotyped as cynical, mean and snide because I've found so much kindness and acceptance there and also because, overall, it's a pretty successful social experiment. The mayor's a loon and some of the police are out of control, but all in all, there's room for everyone and that's what I like.
OK, that's figurative room. There is NO literal room, so rents are as absurd as you hear. I'll be paying about $500 a month to live in a probably very small room in Brooklyn with a hall bath (keep your fingers crossed for a private bath for me).
A year ago I was paying $190 a week to live in a hotel for women (not nearly as charming as on Bosom Buddies) in a room just big enough for my bed, dresser, desk and a teeny closet (plus two meals a day and a nagging staff of worrywarts). It was like a dorm room.
I've also applied at a a few places that are $230 a week (one with private bath) and two meals a day, but I think I'll probably stick with the room in Brooklyn. That way I can save money for an apartment, so maybe I can move out in 6 months or a year.
The big fantasy is always to live in Manhattan, but more than likely I'll end up in Queens, because you can still get a fairly large 1-2 bedroom for $800-1000. It's all relative, though, since the jobs I'm looking at pay about twice as much in NY as I could make here. I guess the trick is to make NY money in The Empire or have Empire expenses in NY.
I'm a big fan of rent control, I loved that with my SF apartment, but once someone finally moves out or dies, the rent goes sky high for incoming tennants. That's the shit side of rent control.
I saw a story on 20/20 a few years back where they showed all these celebrities' apartments and they were paying ridiculously low rents, like $600-1000 for gigantic, 6 bedroom apartments because they've leased them since the '70s or even as far back as the '40 and '50s.
Once you find something, it becomes a good deal over time, but the initial rent and fees are insane. It's pretty standard in NY to have broker fees, which is basically 3 months rent you pay for a broker to find the apartment; this is money you never see again. That's not counting two months deposit and one month's rent. So you basically pay 6 month's rent just to move in.
All that's a round about way of saying, it's a trade off. I could have a huge place in The Empire for $5-700, but it would still be what it is. That's why I came here a year ago, but being here has helped me remember why I left! There's not much to see or do. I'm so excited that I'm going back home.
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1:55 AM
making steps at reconnecting. On Friday, one of the instructors from the journalism camp (yes, I'm a geek) I attended before my senior year of high school came over.
I'm doing a web site for them, glad I can finally give back because the workshop did so much for me. She even suggested I come to a conference next week so I can meet some media people. It would be great to get back on track, to make steps to get back to writing for a living, as opposed to being a secretary.
I'm in this mindset that I'd like to go back to New York and horde up money for a year or so and get my business going on the side, so I have a strong client base and can just work independently so I can go to grad school. It's just time to correct mistakes of the past and set a more solid foundation for the future.
She was impressed with my sites and ideas I had for their site. I want to get a template down ASAP, so in case I'm moving around, they'll have pages to work from. It's good to have even a little bit of encouragement, I haven't had it enough lately, it seems. My friends are great, but it's like a few drops fighting the raging torrents of Erica hate I get on a daily basis.
I'm really looking forward to spending lots of time alone when I get to New York. I'm happy I'll have more of a social life, but I can't begin to express how much I want to be with me for more than a few hours, knowing it's going to end.
I've been trying to figure out how to go about writing a book, it's something I really need to get off my ass and do. It's such a big project, it's hard to know where to start.
When I walked her out to the car on Friday afternoon, she said, "Oh, I wanted to give you my book." I thought it was another design book, because she'd left some with me. It took me a few minutes before I looked down and saw that it was literally her book, she wrote it.
These are the kinds of people I need to surround myself with -- people who follow their dreams and reach their goals, not people who sit around saying they're impossible, or, worse yet, those who have no aspirations to begin with.
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